TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
