i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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