Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
