We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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