your room smells of hookers.
And success
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize