I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
