You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize