Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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