just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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