He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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