When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
