He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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