I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
