I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
