So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
