i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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