Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
