I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
