cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
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