I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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