i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
