Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
