I feel great
I just peed on a car
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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