come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
is it fun? or sober?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
