I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
