Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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