Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I didn't notice because vodka
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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