just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
