Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
