wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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