How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
