her vagine was all disorganized.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
