On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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