We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
