Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
