pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
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