so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
If its not for food we ain't going out.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
