they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
