Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
So squirting runs in the family.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Randomize
