I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
