i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
