please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
