I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
