with your own penis?
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize