I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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