i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Randomize
