We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
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