We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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