I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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