"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
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