Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Randomize
