some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Randomize
