why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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