My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Randomize
