im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
