i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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