I want to have your abortion
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
