Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
