So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
