shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
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