I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
