Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
